Spit Is Finished

"Salavation is the miracle of a moment. Growth is the labor of a lifetime."
submitted by new contributor Sarah B.
Correct spelling is "the miracle of a moment" anymore. Sheesh.

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"The Big Bang Theory. Your kidding."
submitted by new contributor Matt S.
Those scientists and their crazy senses of humor! Is there a hidden camera around here somewhere?!?

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"It's never too late to be what you might have been."

submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Rev. Wes Kenney
...as long as you've got enough open road to get 'er up to 88 mph.

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"Weather? God reigns and His Son shines!"
submitted by frequent contributor Sammi H.
What does the first question mean? Do I have weather in my life? Yes, pretty much every day some sort of weather manifests itself outside my back door. Amazing, really.

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Get your votes in on the caption contest by tomorrow! And while you're at it, get your votes in on Diesel's caption contest. Yours truly has a caption in the running, and needs to catch up to Brad in overall wins. So far, it doesn't look too promising....

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Boo!

"What's around that corner?"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor BRWombat
Today's guest preacher: Stephen King

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"Faith grows best when rooted in tests."

submitted by frequent contributor BRWombat
Uhhh...."False"??

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"Mother: God's angel of love"

submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor BRWombat
I knew it! I knew they weren't human!

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"Is Jesus your friend?"
submitted by frequent contributor Sandi Y.
...because you should have heard some of the things He was saying about you.

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Voting began yesterday...be sure to get your choice in by Thursday. I've seen Poke, Quilly, and Kadi asking for votes...but what about the rest of our candidates?

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Vote for your favorite comment!

Poke:
"And for the love of God, cover up your melons, Shiela!"

St. Schizophrenia:
"Actually, I have no use for songs about milk and honey, crab apples or not."

Tara:
"Unfortunately, this month's potluck was not the success everyone had hoped for."

Quilly:
"Because you're pissing off the bees and curdling the milk."

Dan:
"Unfortunately, the sign committee broke cardinal rule #1: Never vote on a sign when you're hungry."

Kadi:
"Join the Wadded Panties Choir and lay your burdens at the cross (and on the ears of the congregation!)

msforster:
"I think we're living more in the land of beer and corn chips these days.

Eric P:
"Crushed by the negative reviews, "Exodus: The Musical" closed later that week."

Wes K.:
"...because you can't participate in the produce competition and the talent show at the same time; they're on opposite ends of the fairground."

gridlock:
"Only ladies with coconuts or larger are allowed to sing."

Opinion Polls & Market Research

More crumminess all week! Stay tuned!

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Showtime at the Appalling:

Sign 1: "Who was the greatest female financier?"
Sign 2: "Pharoah's daughter. She drew a prophet from the bank"
submitted AND reviewed by new contributor Rev. Steve K.
These signs may cause people to lose interest.

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Warning Sign: "Crew working in trees"
Church Sign: "God promises a safe landing not a calm passage."
submitted by frequent contributor Chris J.
File this one under "You know it's time to take a day off from work when..."


Note: Yes, I know I can blow the pictures up to see the signs better. What's funny about this one is the juxtaposition of the church sign and the working sign. No emails about this particular one, please. It's on purpose.
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"Of all the things (I) wear, my expression is the most important"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Chris J.

Really? 'Cause I was kinda hoping you'd say "pants".

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"A hug is the best gift. One size fits all."
submitted/asst. reviewed by frequent contributor Tara
Well I hate to tell you, but that hug makes your ass look HUGE.

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"Thank heavens for godly mothers."
submitted by frequent contributor Tara
...and to hells with the rest.

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Commenting in the second contest has ended. Next Monday, I'll put up the top 10 captions for your voting pleasure. Thanks to everyone who participated!!

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Yes, Youk.

"Who, Meek?" Galations 5:22
submitted/post title by frequent contributor Poke
"Galations" must be in that Mormon bible or something...

...and, by the way, it's Galatians 5:23 that talks about meekness.

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"W.W.J.D. Your website for eternity."
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Poke
The church for people who know nothing about the internet.

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"Soft soap in the pulpit won't clean the sinner in the pew!"

submitted by new contributor Aaron C.
It's true: Lava goes nicely with all that hellfire and brimstone.

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"The people who do their best today are the ones to beat tomorrow."
submitted by frequent contributor Barbara B.
Because beating people is what it's all about.

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RC of StrangeCulture is running a neat series on a particular church sign. Check it out!

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Friend of CCS Rickey posted this hilarious letter to Indiana Jones from his accountants. Great stuff, check it out.

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Comments are due by midnight tonight!

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Twice the Crumminess:

"No one is poor who has had a Godly mother."

"Nobody is poor who has had a Godly mother"
both signs submitted by frequent contributor MJ
These signs were seen within a mile of each other on the same road.

Didn't their Godly mothers teach them never to copy someone else's work??
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"Heaven, don't miss it for the world."
submitted by frequent contributor Rev. Wes Kenney
I've seen the trailer, and it does look pretty sweet.

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"Keep using My Name like that and I'll make traffic worse!"
submitted by new contributor Matt P.
Exodus 20:5: "For I, the Lord your God am a jealous God...and sort of spiteful, with a bit of a mean streak as well..."

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"If wishes were fishes we'd live in the sea."
submitted by Christopher S.
And if Crummy Church Signs were candy and nuts, we'd all have a Merry Christmas.

WTF are they talking about??

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"Come see Young Song"
submitted AND reviewed by frequent contributor Christine
Chopsticks provided upon request.

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"Gossip is worse than a lie, because there's some truth to gossip."
submitted AND reviewed by new contributor Bookgrunt
...and second degree domestic violence is worse than murder, because at least you loved her.

What a horrible sign.

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Get your comments in by tomorrow!

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